Saturday, May 25, 2002

I don't waaaaaaaaanna go out to my dad's house... *Whinewhinewhine*
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:23 AM |

I'd fix the comments link, but the template page for Blogger is being evil and messed up -- all of the HTML for the How To Tweak Your Template instructions is in the text box, including that for the submit/save button.

The buttons also don't show in IE, so it's not a browser-centric problem. *Grump*
Posted by: Shannon M.: 8:08 PM |

If I elaborate, I will be whiny. Suffice it to say that I want ClarisWorks Homepage version 4.0 (HTML 4.0; DOCTYPE/CharSet declarations; Javascript treated as raw code, not text; and a WYSIWYG CSS editor/editing mode; plus all of the current features). And I want it NOW. Thank you.

(P.S.: Friends, well-meaning strangers -- don't go looking for CWHP V4, it doesn't exist, sadly. I bet Apple could get people to -pay- for it, though... Hell, I would. I might have to mortgage my car and myself for the next hundred million years, or beg my mother, or _something_, but I would -so- buy it in a heartbeat.)
Posted by: Shannon M.: 8:23 PM |

Ice cream and cake is one of -the- _best_ combinations of flavors and textures -ever-. I hope that the first person to ever put the two together and encouraged others to try it, along with whoever decided to make said combo commercially available, has been suitably blessed. Yum.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:17 PM |

Friday, May 24, 2002

Things I Have Learned From Reading Miss Alli's Recaps Of TAR2:

1) If you're going to go on an international whirlwind tour in a race for a million dollars, choose a partner with whom you have experienced a crisis situation in the past. This is paramount, as it will probably save you lots and lots of grief. If you can't find someone like that, choose someone that will be supportive and encouraging and do your best to return the favor.
2) Choose a carry-on which can be stuffed full and then compressed, as you'll never know what kind of space you'll have.
3) One essential to pack is Dover's Say-It-In... series of phrasebooks, available at all major chains and many fine used book dealers. Just because -many- people in the travel industry in other countries speak English doesn't mean -everyone- does, and the further afield one must venture from, say, the airport, the less likely it will be that they will. Also, do your best to ditch American slang and idiom from requests as they don't usually translate well.
4) A neck wallet seems like more of a necessity than a 'good idea' -- you can keep extra money and an extra set of meds/glasses/contact solution/etc. within. If it's around your neck, it's less likely to be left on the seat of a taxicab.
5) Polite and sincere will get your further than boorish and stupid. While this may seem like a 'Duh', see Taraweasel Vs. Cha-Cha-Cha. Learn to say 'please', 'thank you', 'I would like', and 'excuse me, could your please...' In any of two dozen languages and your life will be much smoother. (Also, learning the difference between the language spoken in Brazil and the language spoken in the -rest- of South America is an incredibly good idea.)
6) This is mostly for me, but it may be useful for others -- Learn to tolerate/like energy bars of some stripe and pack plenty of them, along with jerky and any other packable trail-snacks. If eating and sleeping schedules are going to be totally erratic, hedge your bets and bring your own food. (Water purification pills might not be a bad idea, either.)

That's about it, aside from maybe including a pocket compass, a Leatherman/Leatherman-esque multitool, antibacterial handiwipes/baby wipes/moist towelettes and a compact but comprehensive first aid kit that includes nystatin and triamcinolone acetonide ointment -- that stuff kicks all kinds of microbial ass, but may only be available by perscription. I guess Neosporin would do, too.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 1:24 PM |

I forgot!

8) If you can't drive stick, LEARN before you go. Otherwise, take someone that can.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 5:40 PM |

So, when does House of Leaves start getting scary? I'm up to page 350/351 and I'm not exactly freaking out. The creepiest thing that's happened to me lately is that I noticed my Shower Spirit is back, but it seemed to be just passing through -- I didn't notice it this morning.

...Of course, I -have- been skipping big chunks of the footnotes, partially because dude -- Mr. Truant? So not scaring me. I mean, we're supposed to get that he's flipping out, but he just kind of seems pathetic. It wasn't like his social life was some scintillating jewel that induced envy in me. *Shrug* Maybe I'm just not the book's target audience, or maybe I need to listen to Haunted, or... I dunno. I'm going to try my best to finish the book, because I'd like to know how it ends, but I'm not yet finding it all that disturbing.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:54 PM |

Shan, who has puppies, amature detectives armed with big swords, and oversexed hockey players wandering through her brain.

Bwahaha... I'd forgotten I'd written that. *Snerk* I need to get my ass in gear and writewritewrite. But where to -start-?
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:49 PM |

Thursday, May 23, 2002

You know... I don't know that I'd be able to jump when it came time to in skydiving. Lord Almighty, that's a long way down... *Blinks at the TV*

So, did my template tweakage work?
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:23 PM |

I abhor nitwit narrators that believe they're being spoooky and ominous by carrying on about how snakes have lots of muscles... *Rolls eyes* They're nearly nothing -but- one _big_ muscle! Also? For animals, it's a -necropsy-, not an -autopsy-. Feh.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:32 PM |

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

I haven't forgotten about your offer, Reesa, just in case you were wondering. I'm just being lax about doing e-mail. Surprise. *Rolls eyes*
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:03 AM |

Today is a lazy, grey day. In cheery news, though, there are baby leaves all over the trees, getting bigger every day!
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:14 AM |

Dear Stupid Fucking MORONS with whom I am forced to share my city streets:

Those four blinky lights at the corners of your vehicle are NOT decorations, you ass. They are called 'turn signals' or 'turn indicator lights' or something similar. They are to be used when you either A) want to make a turn or B) change lanes. Speaking of turning, when the sign says 'no left turn' it doesn't mean '...unless there's no traffic'. It means NO FUCKING LEFT TURN. Speaking of changing lanes (and not the movie, either): see that solid white stripe on the road down there? Yeah, that one, on either side of the intersection. That means DO NOT CROSS. Translation: STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE; DO NOT CHANGE LANES. Particularly without using your turn signal or even fucking looking.

Another hint: if you are waiting to make a turn from a turn lane while the lightis a solid green ball rather than the far more authoritative green arrow, WAIT UNTIL THE ONCOMING TRAFFIC CLEARS THE OPPOSING TURN LANE BEFORE YOU TRY TO MAKE YOUR TURN. If I can't see -you-, it's probably a pretty safe bet -you- can't see me, either. And trust me, nearly turning in to my car because you can't wait for the fucking traffic to clear to let you see, or not being able to wait your turn for the green arrow _REALLY_ doesn't fucking impress me, Jack.

Nor does honking at me because -you- have your knickers in a twist and want to get underway at a right-turn-on-red. If YOU can fucking SEE not only around ME but ALSO around whatever -I- cannot see around, you are more than welcome to haul your big-ass car around me and make your precious time-saving turn. I am NOT going to get myself injured/killed/ticketed/whatever because YOU can't fucking wait your turn.

Speaking of turning... See the center turn lane? Yes. You pull into that when you want to make your turn -- no, ALL THE WAY. No, -all- the way over. I understand that it's scary to pull into it, particularly because the turn lane is a new addition to this road which has needed one for, well, at _least_ the last 21 years if not longer, but it's okay. *Snort* Just get your fucking ass _over_ and out of my -way-, Mac, before I feel compelled to follow you and -bite- you. Also? Don't fucking use the turn lane as a third lane just because you happen to want to get around the slow traffic ahead of you. If I have to watch you get in/cause a head-on collision, I'm going to be really pissed off -- I want to go -home-, and here you go, causing me to think about having to stick around and file statements with the police and such. Zooming out into the turn lane and then pulling out in front of me isn't very high on my list of things I enjoy, either, just so you know.

When you have a red light, you don't have the right of way. Particularly when you have the red light and I have the green arrow. When you make the turn anyhow, without even -stopping- as the law requires, cutting across both lanes of traffic (lingering in the middle for a few moments, of course) and ending up in front of me...? Wow. NOT a good idea. If I were more vengeful, I'd have either followed you and told you just what I thought of you and your driving techniques, or called the cops and told them you were a fugitive for a homicide or something. Well, okay, a drunk driver, at any rate. (P.S.: I hate you.)

Dear Stupid Fucking IDIOTIC pedestrians:

When you want to cross the street, you should use a crosswalk. Cross-walk. C-r-o- Oh, never mind. Just try to remember to cross at the corner where those cute little pictures of a person and a hand might make sense to your Paleolithic little pea-brains. Try looking both ways before you cross, too. I know it's a lot to ask, I mean, after all, it means you have to look elsewhere besides your own constipated little world; I know it means actually -paying- _attention_ to something outside your own self-centered neediness... But God DAMN you, you fuckers, I'm -already- responsible for my life and the life/lives of my passengers. I -don't- need to be _WHOLLY_ responsible for -yours- too. And you, walking with the small children? Who the hell left you in charge? You ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS -hold- _hands_ when you walk with small children, or you put them on a leash or something so they don't fucking WANDER INTO TRAFFIC. And criminey, woman, don't just -stand- there in the middle of the fucking ROAD with your stroller, staring around like maybe there are little pixies that only you can see flying around. You're lucky enough to live/walk in a neighborhood graced with FUCKING SIDEWALKS, USE THEM. *Ahem* If for no other reason than it keeps -me- from having to watch you and your two idiot children get run over by oncoming traffic as you stare, entranced, at my car which I am steering as FAR away from you morons as possible.

Dear Stupid Moronic Parents of Idiot Children Living Within Walking Distance Of Huffman Elementary:

What in God's _Name_ makes you think that allowing your precious little twerps walk/bike/snowshoe/sled/whatever to school is a -GOOD- idea? I really really really _really_ want to hear the answer to this one, honest I do. I'll even promise to try not to laugh! I don't know if you've noticed, but this road is incredibly heavily traveled and features approximately 75 feet of actual real live sidewalk. There are incredibly few neighborhoods (read: NONE) with sidewalks within walking distance of the school. There are no bike trails, either. There is a power-line easement, but I witnessed no fewer than seven kids on bikes pedaling hellbent-for-leather down the shoulder of the road on the other side and in the opposite direction from said easement. There were also three little twits standing on the chunk of sidewalk, holding a conversation -- one appeared to be restraining another from darting out to play in the traffic, of which there was quite a lot for ten to four on a Wednesday.

Not loving any of you very much and wishing you'd never gotten your driver's licenses,

Shan

Posted by: Shannon M.: 4:46 PM |

No, I'm not a perfect driver, either -- but hey. My ratio of near-accidents-caused-by-me to near-accidents-caused-by-others is about 1:25. -And- there's the little fact that -my- accidents usually threaten to be low-speed rear-end types because I'm not that great at stop-and-go, as opposed to the idiots that consistently want to see my car bent into a U or minus the front quarter panels or something.

The pedestrians... I do my best, really I do, to show all pedestrians and cyclists (motor- and bi-) as much respect as I can. I swing wide when I can, I wave people across when I can, I even try as hard as I can not to wait in crosswalks at intersections. There are SOME PEOPLE, however, that just Don't Get It. Those particular peds/cyclists, I hate.

P.S.: If you ride a motorcycle, WEAR YOUR HELMET. Or Else I will bite you. Hard. In a not-fun way. This has been your Public-Service Mothering for the day, thank you and good night.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 4:54 PM |

You know... I like Blogger, I like Opera... But I really really want something I can publish to every day/hour/whatever without a wee teeny text-entry box, having to reload every two or three posts because something has happened to said text-entry box, or swapping between browsers. I'm thinking of switching to LiveJournal -- I've got an account, there, already; it uses a posting client which I think I'm in love with. And I don't have to remember to use HTML tags, as it doesn't convert word-wrap into line-breaks. The whole template/styles piece is a little...different, but probably something I can learn to tweak as I go. Hell, I can beat Blogger code into submission, why not LJ?
Posted by: Shannon M.: 5:15 PM |

...and this is really the only part of my site that gets updated with any regularity. *Shrug* I don't know what I'm trying to say, I guess... Maybe I'm just talking to myself? *Waves a hand* Whatever.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 5:18 PM |

So I borrowed House Of Leaves from the library. It's kind-of creepy, so far -- the thing that's bothered me the most has been the narrator's insistance upon including every instance of his becoming violently ill. I don't -like- vomit, and unlike sex, find its gratuitous inclusion in books to be highly annoying.

*Snerk* None of my characters ever get sick except under certain circumstances, and usually they come down with terrible colds. If they're throwing up, it's usually due to extraordinary events -- food poisoning or severe psychological trauma.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 5:19 PM |

Well, the vomiting and the peculiar tic of writing house like that, which is visually distracting -and-, in this age of 'Net-centrism, makes me want to click on it. Which, of course, I can't do... Heh.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 5:22 PM |

Today I got a letter from Vector™ wanting me to call them up and make an appointment for an interview for a "summer work opportunity". These people promise to pay me $15.00 to start with, and give me "valuable business experience that can be beneficial to [my] resumé."

Vector™ has advertised in the paper for the last few summers, and I've always been highly suspicious of them -- they _never_ ever -once- mention the _kind_ of work you'll do for this amazing starting salary beyond 'customer sales and service'. *Narrows eyes* Call me paranoid, say I've read waaaaay too many bad stories wherein a job opportunity turns out to be too good to be true, but... I just don't think I'll be getting in touch with them. Especially in light of the fact that they say "Naturally, some conditions do apply" and "all details will be explained during our interview process".

Besides all of that, I've -done- customer sales and service. The public and myself benefit nicely from my continued lack of involvement in that particular career track.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 5:32 PM |

Woooo... *Blinkblink* Some NY columnist made an oblique reference to a gay Mets player wanting to come out, and for some reason, Mike Piazza ends up defending his sexuality before a game... And either Jim Rhome (or his writing staff) was saying that -he- didn't care if Piazza was gay as long as he played well, but sadly he doesn't think the rest of the country would react in the same way.

I -know- he's right -- this country is not willing to accept a gay sports star. Greg Louganis is no longer in the mainstream eye after he came out, surprisesurprise.

All of this, of course, bodes quite ill for Marc and Vic (and now Marc, Vic and Tikka -- Konamasi may be desensitized enough to accept Marc and Vic, but I think ...And Tikka Too is pushing it), but I think that, given enough time and enough rumor, combined with a decided lack of defensive press conferences, they could at least be tacitly out, if not overtly.

Or maybe Bernie Bookbinder's 'Take Me Out To The Ball Game' should be required reading for everyone in the baseball world.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 9:24 PM |

It's 'Out At The Old Ball Game', my mistake.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:33 PM |

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

Clarence's School Scenario WRONG! A GUN IS NEVER THE ANSWER TO A PROBLEM! Juan and Clarence could shoot themselves or someone else accidentally. Juan or Clarence never thought that MAYBE the bully could have a gun and use it just because he is frightened by Juan’s gun. A GUN ONLY MAKES THIS PROBLEM WORSE!! NEVER HANDLE A GUN!!

Ah, yes. But I must ask: what -else- has Juan done to free himself of the bully's torment? Perhaps Juan has asked for help. Perhaps Juan has asked and asked and asked and asked, and perhaps the bully nods and says 'okay I'll stop' and -never- ever _does_. Perhaps the bully has been running Juan ragged for -years-, perhaps Juan has had more than e-fucking-nough. Perhaps the adults in charge -- i.e. the bully's parent(s), the school officials/staff, Juan's parent(s) -- have done everything -they- think will help, or have been turning a blind eye, or just throw up their hands and say 'what can I/we do?'. Perhaps Juan feels that no one that is -supposed- to care does; perhaps he feels that no one listens to him; perhaps he's -tried- everything that he's been told to try.

Desperation makes people do funny things. It makes people take risks, and it makes them try things that they might not have otherwise done. God knows that if _I_ were persecuted often enough, long enough, and maliciously enough (and He also knows that children are the most evil and horrendous creatures on the planet -- it's amazing there aren't _more_ instances of school violence), -I- might go to the extreme of trying to hurt Them as badly as They hurt me.

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT, I repeat NOT, advocating the use of a gun to resolve problems, particularly in an educational setting. I'm merely pointing out that under extraordinary circumstances, people do extraordinary things -- some incredibly and tremendously STUPID, some magnificently wonderfully heroic, but extraordinary just the same. Outlawing (hand)guns will not help. Thank you and good night.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 12:17 AM |

...-Spelling- things correctly, on the other hand, I advocate and advocate passionately.

I think I should go to sleep, now... No, wait, I can't! I have to put up a chunk of writing on FicBits. And a link over here.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 12:21 AM |

Okay, I think that's got it. M/V/T over at FicBits, and now I go to sleep. 'Night.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 12:28 AM |

Bwahaha... *Snicker* If you've missed it, Google and Scott Adams have teamed up to unveil a new logo. The unveiling will happen at the end of the week; right now, however, there's a really, really, -really- _bad_ pun up on the main page. Hee.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:13 AM |

I've done something to my left hand. This morning, the dog decided she absolutely -had- to be outside at about 4:00. (What is it with my animals and that time of day? Anyhow.) So I put her out, and she starts barking. I lean out the door and tell her to knock it off, only to hear a soft crunching/smacking sound. I had no idea where the moose was, how big it was, how close to Yasminda's area it was... And I'd neglected to put my glasses on. She was right at the top of the stairs, -watching- the moose. I crept out, trying to be as quiet as I could -- with every noise she was getting ready to bolt down at the moose. I managed to get a hold of her cable -just- before she zipped down the stairs. Fortunately, I grabbed it with my -left- hand. Unfortunately, I managed to grab it. I don't think I tore muscles away from bone, because that would hurt like hell, my range of motion would be gone, and my fingers would be far more swollen. As it is, my fingers have interesting blister-like patches, and the skin is shiny, like plastic. My little finger is the most affected, because the cable ran right across the joint. It's hard to straighten it and my ring finger out, but I -can- do it -- I checked the range of motion before I fell asleep again.

As for the moose... Yasminda the Nitwit just wanted to -watch- the moose, like she watches the kitty. The moose didn't care -what- we did, as long as it didn't impact its grazing on the grass in the back yard. I wish I'd had my glasses -- I don't know if it was a young bull without its first spikes or a cow gathering a few last calories before getting ready to have her calf/calves. From what I -could- tell, it was in good shape. It was also very, very happy that the grass has been growing -- I would cajole Yasminda, trying to get her to come in the house before I either froze to death or was eaten alive by the mosquitos, or I'd talk to the moose, and it basically just wiggled its ears and kept right on eating. And eat it did... Chomp, chomp, chomp; smack smack, chewchewchew; burp... (Again with the air-filled animals!) It was amazing to listen to.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:33 AM |

And now for a little comment-tweakage.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:01 AM |

I think the next-door neighbors are using a leafblower. Whatever they're doing, it's loud and kind of annoying, though easy enough to harmonize with.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:38 AM |

The question "What do you want to eat?" is a dangerous one to ask in my family. Dangerous in that we might starve to death before we decide, or kill one another in hunger-induced anger. (Low blood sugar leads to near-homicidal rage -- I wish I'd/my family had known this when I was younger.) ANYhow. We discuss possibilities; everyone always has to list at least two places/cuisines they're -not- willing eat; and eventually, -finally- settle on something. Occasionally we do a 'do-it-yourself-dinner' wherein everyone is responsible for feeding themselves whatever it is they want.

...currently, I'm starving and it looks like Rocky Road and doughnuts if my mother and I don't figure out an alternative here in a few minutes. *Snerk* Have I mentioned I'm more likely to die of malnutrition than anything else?
Posted by: Shannon M.: 6:29 PM |

Monday, May 20, 2002

I like -big- dogs. Great Danes, Mastiffs, German Shepherds, Mac River Huskies... I don't know why, but then, I don't really care, either. *Grin* I just like 'em.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 9:39 AM |

I've been poking around on Second Amendment Sisters. It makes me want to go blow holes in poor, innocent, defenseless paper squares. *Snerk*
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:53 PM |

Sunday, May 19, 2002

I'd like to go to the Smithsonian National Zoo, some day.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:01 AM |

Argh! I _HATE_ being me, sometimes.

*Siiiigh* Maybe I should write to Sars, and ask her if I should make a stupidstupidstupid phone call and -apologize- for _my_ behavior.... Yergle.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 12:47 PM |