Saturday, May 18, 2002

Yes, it -is- childish to pointedly ignore someone that simply wants to say hello to you.

Yes, it -is- childish to do it just because -they- did it first.

Yes, people -do- grow up.

However, to my mind at least, it would have proven them -far- more mature if they had not spent the entire time fucking -grinning- at me and had started out their side of the non-conversation with the words 'I would just like to apologize...' followed somewhere along the way with 'could we maybe try starting over?' Then maybe I'd have smiled and fluttered my lashes and arranged to meet them somewhere today to talk; maybe -then- I'd have responded to that grin that can/probably still make(s) one's innards go flippety-flump. Mostly, it made me want to scream.

Maybe then I wouldn't have spent the rest of my night seething and resisiting the urge to track them down and hit them over and over while screaming as loudly as I could... Of course, it would have been some incoherent babbling about not being good enough to talk to EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO, but suddenly NOW I AM... And probably the words 'you arrogant shit-faced cocksucking son-of-a-bitch', just for emphasis. (And now I've gotten my page blocked at Reesa's school. Sorry. *Ducks head*)

My mother pointed out that perhaps they'd simply suddenly discovered that -I'd- grown up. Yeah, sure, flash a little skin, stand around looking pretty* and -now- they want to be my friend? Fuck 'em. I mean, it's one thing if it was someone I, like, actually interacted with on a regular basis, -and- one with which I had a reasonably tolerable relationship. And I can -think- of someone like that, actually, and kind-of wish they'd been there last night. But someone that actively avoided my company; someone that tended to react to me as if I were something particularly unpleasant found on the bottom of their shoe? Fuck 'em. Someone that treated me like a big joke; someone who's grin tickled at that feeling again -- now! after all this time! -- like they knew some secret and it was somehow related to humiliating me? Fuck 'em.

Maybe, maybe, -someday- _I_ will start talking first, and I will be able to ask why the hell they think I'd -want- to speak to them _now_, when everything I've done in the past leads me tobelieve that the reaction now will be no different? Why should _I_ be expected to evince joy and delight in their presence when all memories I carry of them happen to be sour and unpleasant? Not to mention the fact that _I_ can remember their behavior -- and I obviously learned from it, much to my detriment or something -- why can't _they_? Why should it be such a surprise that if you're not pleasant to someone that they aren't pleasant in return?

...or am I just an obstreperous little bitch that should have been slapped by Miss Manners for such an appalling display of...whatever?

Posted by: Shannon M.: 7:02 PM |

Now that I'm done whining about -that- part of the evening -- the high points!

* I was beautiful. I was beautiful and regal and serene... The last two for about two and a half seconds. Then I was just harried and beautiful. *Snerk* The top? Perfect. The only thing I could have asked for in that department was a bigger bust, 'cause... Well, more later. And I got Mercury's Brother to take a couple of pictures with his digital camera, Reesa! I should have those in a couple of days or so.

I won the only thing I bid on; my housesitting weekend went to people I actually know and like; the people I was working with were good, up to a point**; I didn't have to make excruciating small-talk with people I didn't know, I only untied my top by accident once; I did NOT dribble _ANY_ of my dinner on it***; and I didn't scream at, swear at, or slap anyone, either.

** I had a system going for checkout. Then the rest of the auction committee came out to help and promptly mucked it up. Sigh.

*** -This- is something of a miracle, because I come from a long line of people that are famous for dropping food down their fronts. I -did- have to pick dessert crumbs out of what passed/passes for my cleavage, though. Dinner was a delicious buffet (pronounced by Mercury's Mama as 'boo-fey', which is fun) -- the hotel we were at has _incredible_ food. Dinner was a few different kinds of salad, including potato, green and mixed-fresh-fruit; rice pilaf with some kind of mysterious green things (they weren't green pepper or jalapeños -- they might have been green onion) and red pepper bits; rolls and steamed veggies. The entreés were your choice of halibut Olympia (which is -fabulous-, according to my sources) or some sort of chicken in a sauce heavy on the paprika. Everything was exquisite... The fruit was fresh, the chicken tender and not at all spicy, the potato salad! Oh, the potato salad. It had big pieces of white onion in it, but it just had such a lovely flavor. I was -so- hungry...

And speaking of spreading my dinner across my clothing... This portion of the post contains probably Waaaay More Information than anyone really needs to know, and probably more than I've ever shared. It doesn't, however, involve blood or uteri.

So. My body is a little oddly shaped, as people might guess. I have these bizarre shoulders that are wider than those of most people that send their jackets to Value Village (at a whopping seventeen inches), and a large ribcage with annoying breasts. They're annoying because they're A) lopsided -- one is larger than the other, B) not -quite- as large as whatever the average 'b' cup is, particularly B cups attached by some fluke to bands that -fit- my ribcage comfortably, C) definitely -not- A cups, either, D) _and_ they tend to be kind of flat and squashed instead of rounded and... whatever. Not 'perky', I refuse to allow any of my bodyparts to be perkier than I am. *Snerk*

Anyhow. Due to this biological outlandishness, the shoulder portion of my beautiful, beautiful top that I love and adore is too large. If I pulled it down so the shoulders fit, I'd get arrested for indecent exposure -- or at least cited. And I -do- have something of an exhibitionist streak, but it does not extend to exposing myself in public to a group of people comprised of near-strangers, total strangers, and -family-. I fixed my problem by folding and pinning the shoulders, using a beautiful crystal brooch that I normally use with my cape and a gorgeous Native-look feather pin that my mother loaned me, and it worked out fine. Well, mostly fine -- I discovered that the shoulders being that loose worked to my advantage when trying to get out of it without unlacing it totally, which I had to do a couple of times. And it took me a few tries to get the lacing just right, and then of course it was lopsided, so I ended up trying to -re-lace it... It was _still_ lopsided by the time I was done (it only took me about 5 minutes, which I thought was pretty good for the first time I'd ever tried to do it), but much less than it had been earlier.

Everyone loved the top, especially me. I wanted to wear it again today, but I wisely refrained -- after all, it -is- supposed to be a special-occasion piece of clothing. Now all I have to do is get some more of that silk and have a matching skirt and jacket made for it, and I'm set for the wedding. Mm, silk. Mmm, that gorgeous -blue- silk. Mmmm, that gorgeous blue silk that brings out my eyes and my inner slinky chantenuse. Sorta. Heh.

So anyhow, the auction went pretty well, aside from That Person and my system getting all fouled up. And we lost folder number 166, which was a real pain in the ass... But -I- at least looked good while it all happened. And I don't have to do it again, until next year or ever, if I should so choose.

And my feet -still- hurt, this morning, when I got up. I have -got- to remember to get some insoles for my Mary Janes before I wear them again.

Posted by: Shannon M.: 8:15 PM |

Oh, and even -more- TMI for your delectation -- I decided I'd risk nicking myself in an annoying location and took a stab at shaving my armpits for the first time. I was quite pleased with the results, considering that I didn't wear my glasses and didn't use a mirror... I may keep this up over the summer.

I also need to find/get more shorts before too long, here. The leaves are coming out, and I spent time in the glorious glorious sunshine. Ah, spring at last.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 8:19 PM |

Added a post over at FicBits -- just a little K/A Solstice. I'm kinda stuck on that at the moment, but I should have some M/V/T sometime this weekend.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 8:40 PM |

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

I HATE THE 'COUNTRY ROADS' COMMERCIAL FOR WEST VIRGINA TOURISM.

*Ahem* A more unmusical untalented tone-deaf and tuneless bunch of idiots I've never heard. Yigh.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:41 AM |

I had something to say, and now I've forgotten it. Hm. I'm sure I'll remember eventually...

In other news, I _finally_ found my Spell Shirt! H'ray. And I hope to have my new top in hand tomorrow... Hee! *Bounce*
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:42 PM |

I need a new layout. *Pokes at stuff* Preferably one made with my own graphics... Hm. *Ponders and pokes*
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:43 PM |

Tuesday, May 14, 2002

I just finished Diplomatic Immunity. It's -good-. Classic Miles, barely any of his relatives, but good all the same. *Bounce* *Grin* Awwww.... It's not something I can really talk about without spoiling, so. But it's good!
Posted by: Shannon M.: 1:55 PM |

Guh. So, white-tailed deer attract wolves, which then consume large portions of the moose population, yes? Explain to me again, O Dear Narrator, why we have wolves in Alaska, where there are very very few white-tailed deer. *Rolls eye* Idiot writer.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 4:40 PM |

I only like/tolerate one-onethousandth of one percent of the entire world population. Most of my readers fall into that teeny little number; the rest fall in to the vast swath of the population that I don't know/don't have contact with and therefore do not actively loathe. It's not that I -don't- like you, period, it's just that I don't know you and so don't like you -or- dislike you.

Besides, I generally like people more than dislike them, unless they happen to be a driver in my city. Or a member of the Parking Authority, but that's another rant altogether.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 4:45 PM |

...And I -try- to like everyone, honest I do.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 4:48 PM |

I am really, really, -really- tempted to buy this book. Or at least borrow it from the library. Am I insane, or should I go for it? It sounds Gaimanesque, that is, psychologically creepy rather than Brite-esque gory-creepy. And I like a good creepy book, every now and then...

...And Whitney of Technomancy recommends listening to Haunted at the same time as one reads the book. *Raised eyebrow*
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:37 PM |

Er, I ask not because I don't think I'm capable of making the right decision, but because there are braver souls than I out there that can help me -know- which is the right way to go. Those, ferinstance, that can watch things like The Doom Generation and tell me that it's hideously gory. Like that. Not that I -want- someone else to read me the book and spoon-feed it to me, just... Oh, never mind. I know what I'm trying to say, I just can't say it.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 11:40 PM |

Monday, May 13, 2002

This morning, at 4:00 AM, I was awakened by my cat jumping on to my bed. I mumbled something along the lines 'hello' to her, and thought about moving to pet her. Before I could, however, she deposits something small, soft, and -wriggling- in my hand. Aaaaaargh! Yet another mouse, in my bed, at four AM. Another -not-dead- mouse. It was a great big male, though, so I told her what a good kitty she was, how proud I was that she'd caught the evil mousie, etc... And she wouldn't finish it off. As it -was- four, I couldn't take it out and euthanize it without having to explain everything to my mother, so I put it in a baggie and expressed as much air as I could. *Grumple* I know he wasn't long for the world, but it still bothers me that _I_ have to have something to do with his death.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 9:54 AM |

Mercury's mother keeps giving me money. Lots of money. For what I percieve as no good reason. Not that I -truly- complain about it; I appreciate it. It's just...weird.

On a completely -different- note, my animals are disgusting. In an attempt to check Yasminda's nose for claw damage, I ended up with a palmful of dirt-infested mucus. She digs holes, and sticks her nose in the dirt to fill them back up once she's dropped her rock into the hole, so...
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:21 AM |

I wish I had a webcam, or a digital camera -- you should see my hair. Especially now that I've run my wet (with -water-, in light of my last post) hands through it, as my hair gets wavy/curly when it gets humid/damp/wet. Currently, it's pretty hysterical.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:24 AM |

And now that I've finished my breakfast dessert, it's time to:
- Modify last page of Auction Book for Mercury's Mama
- Take a shower
- Round up Important Papers
- Go to the bank
- Go to APD
- Go to Uni and talk to Admin about the silly hold on my grades
- Go to Consortium library (if possible) and return books
- Drop off AB page for MM
- Pick up Mme. Jean
- Stop by Fred Meyer's and pick up meds/more sweet junk I don't actually need
- Come home and collapse!

Whee.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 10:37 AM |

*Growl* The Anchorage Parking Authority OWES ME MONEY.

That is all.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 5:50 PM |

Wow, the Canadiens crowd is spiffy -- They gave Jose Theodore a standing ovation, and most people are still standing. I still feel bad for the Habs, as they're losing 8-2, but... They -did- get this far, and the 'Canes haven't -ever- gotten to the semis. Everyone has reason to be proud; they all played hard and they all wanted it. *Salutes them*
Posted by: Shannon M.: 5:59 PM |

My most favorite part of all series games are the handshakes afterwards. It's poignant and spiffy and just... I don't know. I like it, though.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 6:02 PM |

Whee! *Bounce* I got a _C_ in INTL335! Yay, yay, yay. My GPA is now 3.62 instead of a solid 4.00, but that's okay -- it's still over 3.5, _AND_ INTL335 doesn't have anything to do with my hoped-for major. Yay!
Posted by: Shannon M.: 6:33 PM |

Now, to register for next semester... Or maybe I should wait 'til I get my gainful employment nailed down, so that I can figure out where I can schedule things... Hm.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 6:34 PM |

Sunday, May 12, 2002

That last post, last night? It was missing the word 'tomorrow', or 'later' somewhere in the second-to-last section. But then, I'm sure you knew that. Or something.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 1:25 PM |

This is... Pretty much -wrong-. Interesting, but wrong. Weird I'll give you, but...

Which David Usher Are You?
Test created by Lilith.
Posted by: Shannon M.: 5:53 PM |

I can't say anything about the accuracy of this one, as it has no point save to decorate one's page. Or Something.

The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz
Posted by: Shannon M.: 6:03 PM |